Once upon a time, there was a young couple living in the lower east side of downtown Manhattan. Jan and Dave had no complaints and were living a comfortable life in the Big Apple. One day while dave was on his way home from work, Jan began making dinner. She reached for the jar of …
Category Archives: Prose
Man on a Gurney
A Sketch Whatever it was they gave him made him laugh about dying. He was deliriously happy, his arms flailing over the side of the gurney and his stomach shaking in boiserous jolts of laughter. He was making the nurse laugh at him and his dying while the pain was receding in ebbs of drugged …
Up a Lazy River – Part II
August 24 The journey’s beginning to wear heavily on the members of the party. Our food supply’s dwindling; all the water in the area is stagnant; and one of my socks is constantly falling down around my ankle. I’m happy to report, however that Normandy’s humor is still intact. Just this morning, he threatened to …
Dante in Paradise
St. Peter: So your name’s Dante, is it? Dante: Yeah, that’s right. St. Peter: That’ll be ten thousand lire for the night. Dante: Ten thousand? St. Peter: He, Look. God runs a clean hotel. You don’t have cherubim leanin’ out the windows, you don’t have roaches crawlin’ on the walls. Dante: All right. St. Peter: …
Untitled
Richard Dawson: A hundred people were surveyed, the top five answers are on the board. Name a type of establishment usually found in the ghetto. Daddy: Welfare offices. BZZZZZZZ Mommy: Police stations. BZZZZZZZ Richard Dawson: Second strike. You have one left. Sis: Cheeba joints! DING Richard Dawson: Number two answer! Grandma: Ice cream parlors. BZZZZZZZ …
Untitled Legendary White Dog Story
“Thanks,” he said as he got down on his knees to think about what he had just done. “I really can’t remember how it all started but I am trying my best.” He took a deep drag on the cigarette that Amanda had just thrown to him. He looked at the dog and slowly began …
Dateline: Moscow
Review of Soviet Georgian Film Repentance Completed 1983, Released 1987 Confession or Repentance (there was a flurry of indecision of the translation—”pokaianiya” in Russian as translated from Georgian) has Moscow cinemaphiles all abuzz. The intellectuals stammer on about symbols and significance, not-so-intellectuals and super-intellectuals yawn from incomprehension and cynicism respectively. Our heroine, a tired-looking woman …
Up A Lazy River
The following are excerpts from the journal of famed adventurer Clementon Feignsworth. Feignsworth is the man who, in 1927, discovered a connecting waterway between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. This was proclaimed a great achievement until someone noticed that his discovery was actually the Panama Canal, already in operation since 1914. In these papers, we …
Untitled
I turned over the cat care pamphlets one by one, observing their cover art with amusement. “Traveling With Your Cat” showed a scarved feline at the driver’s seat of a sports car. “Easy Ways to Housetrain Your Cat” had kitty with an apron on, cheerfully wielding a vacuum cleaner. I was reminded of Amy’s habit …
The Siege of Faith
A small army of bearded intellectuals approached the Mountain of Faith. They rode up on Raleigh 3-speed bicycles, and wore paper maché armor made from the pages of recently outdated textbook editions. Each one had a briefcase strapped to the carrier rack with bungee cords. They rode to the base of the Mountain in the …